Correction anglais

Bon j'ai un oral à préparer pour jeudi, épreuve de BAC, avec une feuille recto verso a rendre. Seulement je ne sais pas si j'arriverai a me faire corriger d'ici la par ma prof.

Si vous avez le temps de me donner un petit coup de main, ca serait coule



Renewable Energies




The main subject we had to study was renewable energies. So we have chosen a theme which deals about recycling. We chose it because we think it’s one of the first way to avoid the waste of energies. So in a first part I’ll present recycling in general, in a second time how can we recycle and finally conclude.

To recycle is to do new products with old materials. In opposition to reuse, recycling treat the matter before using it a new time. If we want to use this process, we need to do prevention because it's impacted everybody. Recycling can't exist if nobody makes an effort to split its waste. The most significant part of recycling is realised by people who are not professional in this environment. Industries are concerning in recycling only in a second part of the whole process. All of them are only charge to collect the matter, then to treat it and afterwards to transform it and finally to sell it to different plants. After prevention and reuse, governments are more and more involved in this way. More and more laws are created to grow the percentage of recycled elements in many products. For example, in 2015, all new cars would be recycled for 95% of their weight; the modus from Renault already respects this law (http://www.senat.fr/rap/r05-125/r05-12513.html ).

In the following parts we decided to focus ourselves on cars.

In the industry, recycled metals represent 40% of industries consumption. Every year, 14 000 k ton are recycled by special firms.
For example in a car many metal pieces can be recycled:


- Wheels contain high steel rims or aluminium rims
- Motors contain iron, aluminium, high steel bronze (connecting rod), cast iron (crankshaft)
- Electrical motors coil copper, induction coil, rotors, alternator
- Wiring copper
- Suspensions High Steel spring
- Main body Steel plates
- Braking piece in cast iron
- Sheet metal tank
- Exhaust

The recycling and reuse of plastic, papers and cardboards is also very important. For example in a car we can find: glasses, seats, ripcords, tire, ...

In a second part, I’ll present how industries proceed when they had to recycle a car. The first steps pass in discharges. In this place, the whole car is dismembered. The biggest pieces like seats, window’s door, and pneumatic tyres in good conditions are sold to private people. As to the rest of the car, it's sold to special firms. Those firms receive drafts of cars. They had to send them to a crusher. This step serves to have small pieces of matters. Then those pieces are compacted to be transported easily. Afterwards blocks of content are sent to treating plants. First of all, blocks are sent to sorting office which sifts the different matters. Contents are sorted in three main ways. The first one consists in a magnetic conveyor belt which separate magnetic metals from plastics. Then another conveyor belt sift the matter, big pieces are with big pieces, average with average and small with small. And the last step consists in diving matters into density tub.




However this green issue cope with critics, the energy earn with this process is minimal in front of the energy spent in transports and transforming of the matter. The environmental benefits of that action are low.

Industries are concerning
concerned

in a second part
the

Il me semble.

"deals with".
"once again" à la place de "a new time".

Après je sais pas pour le vocabulaire. On dirait que t'en as fait une bonne part avec du traducteur français/anglais d'internet... Genre "focus ourselves".

Aller hop je suis parti je corrige tout.

"Renewable Energies




The main
subject we had to study was renewable energies. So we chose a
theme which deals with recycling. We chose it because we think it’s
one of the first way to avoid the waste of energies. So in a first time
I’ll present recycling in general, in a second time how can we recycle
and finally I'll conclude.

Recycling is doing new products with old
materials. In opposition to reuse, recycling treats the matter before
using it once again. If we want to use this process, we need to do
prevention because it concerns everybody. Recycling can't exist if
nobody makes an effort to sort its waste. The most significant part of
recycling is realised by people who are not professional in this
environment. Industries are concerned in recycling only in a second
part of the whole process. All of them are only charged to collect the
matter, then to treat it and afterwards to transform it and finally to
sell it to different plants. After prevention and reuse, governments
are more and more involved in this way. More and more laws are created
to increase the percentage of recycled elements in many products. For
example, in 2015, all new cars would be recycled for 95% of their
weight; the modus from Renault already respects this law
(http://www.senat.fr/rap/r05-125/r05-12513.html ).

In the following parts we decided to focus on cars.

In the industry, recycled metals represent 40% of industries
consumption. Every year, 14 000 k ton are recycled by special firms.
For example in a car many metal pieces can be recycled:


- Wheels contain high steel rims or aluminium rims
- Motors contain iron, aluminium, high steel bronze (connecting rod), cast iron (crankshaft)
- Electrical motors coil copper, induction coil, rotors, alternator
- Wiring copper
- Suspensions High Steel spring
- Main body Steel plates
- Braking piece in cast iron
- Sheet metal tank
- Exhaust

The recycling and reuse of plastic, papers and cardboards is also very
important. For example in a car we can find: glasses, seats, ripcords,
tires, ...

In a second part, I’ll present how industries proceed
when they have to recycle a car. The first steps pass in discharges. In
this place, the whole car is dismembered. The biggest pieces like
seats, window’s door, and pneumatic tyres in good conditions are sold
to private people. As to the rest of the car, it's sold to special
firms. Those firms receive drafts of cars. They had to send them to a
crusher. This step serves to have small pieces of matters. Then those
pieces are compacted to be transported easily. Afterwards blocks of
content are sent to treating plants. First of all, blocks are sent to
sorting office which sifts the different matters. Contents are sorted
in three main ways. The first one consists in a magnetic conveyor belt
which separate magnetic metals from plastics. Then another conveyor
belt sift the matter, big pieces are with big pieces, average with
average and small with small. And the last step consists in diving
matters into density tub.




However this green issue
copes with critics, the energy earned with this process is minimal compared the energy spent in transports and transforming of the matter.
The environmental benefits of that action are low."

Doit rester des problèmes, et j'ai changé des trucs.

"The main subject we had to study" Tu peux rajouter un "this year" nan?
"deals about" Ecoute Kundie
"to avoid the waste of energies" je dirais plutôt "to avoid" wasting energies" ou quelque chose dans ce goût là mais je suis pas sûr
"To recycle is to do new products" Aïe aïe aïe énorme faute "recycling is doing new products"

Bon désolé j'ai pas le temps de voir le reste pour l'instant, si je peux plus tard je verrais ce que je peux faire.

Doit y avoir de la fatigue la dedans. Des fautes bêtes. Merci.

Et tu as en partie raison Kundera, j'ai eu mon ami wordreference d'ouvert pendant un bout de temps mais uniquement pour les termes "techniques". To focus provient de mon cours d'anglais Cependant le ourselves est peut etre superflu, je ne m'en étais pas rendu compte

Concerns ? Impact ? Au final ca revient au meme ou il y a tout de meme une différence ?

Et ce n'est pas compared to ?
J'ai un doute, Concern in ou concern on ?

The first step pass ou passed ? (avant dernier paragraphe)

Bah "impact" ça veut pas dire pareil.
Pour le "focus", c'est tellement superflu que c'est une erreur, a se dit vraiment pas.

Compared to, oui, au temps pour moi j'ai oublié de le taper.

Et c'est "to be concerned in + ing".

Eh bien pourtant on l'a utilisé maintes fois, peut etre dans un autre contexte ... Mais du coup je ne vois pas quoi mettre a la place.

Impact est plus utilisé en tant que conséquence, concerns en tant qu'"action" non ?

Et du coup, c'est pass ou passed ?

Merci Kundera Si tu vois d'autres choses, n'hésite pas

Gogol44 a écrit:

Bon j'ai un oral à préparer pour jeudi, épreuve de BAC, avec une feuille recto verso a rendre. Seulement je ne sais pas si j'arriverai a me faire corriger d'ici la par ma prof.

Si vous avez le temps de me donner un petit coup de main, ca serait coule



Renewable Energies




The main subject we had to study was renewable energies. So we choosed a theme which deals about recycling. We choosed it because we think it’s one of the first way to avoid the waste of energies. So in a first part I will present recycling in general, in a second time how we can recycle and finally I will conclude.

Recycling is how to do new products with old materials. In opposition to reuse, recycling treats the matter before using it a new time. If we want to use this process, we need to do prevention because it impacts on everybody. Recycling can not exist if nobody makes an effort to split its waste. The most significant part of recycling is realised by people who are not professional in this environment. Industries are concerned in recycling only in the second part of the whole process. All of them are only charged to collect the matter, then to treat it and after to transform it and finally to sell it to different plants. After prevention and reuse, governments are more and more involved in this way. More and more laws are created to grow the percentage of recycled elements in many products. For example, in 2015, all new cars would be recycled for 95% of their weight; the modus from Renault already respects this law (http://www.senat.fr/rap/r05-125/r05-12513.html ).

In the following parts we decided to focus ourselves on cars.

In the industry, recycled metals represent 40% of industries consumption. Every year, 14 000 k ton are recycled by special firms.
For example in a car many metal pieces can be recycled:


- Wheels contain high steel rims or aluminium rims
- Motors contain iron, aluminium, high steel bronze (connecting rod), cast iron (crankshaft)
- Electrical motors coil copper, induction coil, rotors, alternator
- Wiring copper
- Suspensions High Steel spring
- Main body Steel plates
- Braking piece in cast iron
- Sheet metal tank
- Exhaust

The recycling and reuse of plastic, papers and cardboards is also very important. For example in a car we can find: glasses, seats, ripcords, tire, ...

In a second part, I will present how industries proceed when they have to recycle a car. The first steps pass in discharges. In this place, the whole car is dismembered. The biggest pieces like seats, window doors, and pneumatic tyres in good conditions are sold to private people. As to the rest of the car, it's sold to special firms. Those firms receive drafts of cars. They have to send them to a crusher. This step is to have small pieces of matters. Then those pieces are compacted to be transported easily. Afterwards, blocks of content are sent to treating plants. First of all, blocks are sent to sorting office which sifts the different matters. Contents are sorted in three main ways. The first one consists in a magnetic conveyor belt which separate magnetic metals from plastics. Then another conveyor belt sift the matter, big pieces are with big pieces, average with average and small with small. And the last step consists in diving matters into density tub.




However this green issue copes with critics, the energy earned with this process is minimal in front of the energy spent in transports and transforming of the matter. The environmental benefits of that action are low.

J'ai corrigé le texte, je crois que ça devrait aller, mais fais quand même gaffe, il peut y avoir quelques fautes, de plus, comme je n'ai jamais travaillé sur le recyclage, j'ai pas toujours bien compris le texte.

Choosed ça existe pas, hein.

Tiens, j'aurais dit.

Tu veux pas utiliser Google Translation comme tout le monde ?

Non
Ma mère est traductrice...google trad c'est le diable !

...
Je plaisantais.

Google Translation est a peu prêt aussi efficace dans la traduction qu'un lapin myxomateux sous LSD l'est en astrophysique.
(Et Dieu sait qu'un lapin myxomateux sous LSD n'est pas compétant en matière d'astrophysique.)

Je suppose bien que tu plaisantais...

Bon finalement, c'était plutot bien corrigé J'ai juste changé quelques expressions avec monsieur billingue de ma classe et mon oral s'est bien passé